Breaking the last thread
As he drove back to his house, he couldn’t help but wince. He had accomplished his goal; he had driven her away forever. He had been planning to do that for nearly six months and knew his anniversary would be the perfect occasion because it would cause the maximum amount of impact. He had prepared for it, he knew almostly all the moves yet, yet it hurt so much that he wanted to shout and cry at the same time. He was angry, angry at her, at himself, at the doctors, the cancer and his whole fucking life. He had so much guilt inside him, he hated himself for doing what he did to her, the way he did it but he knew it was for the best. He had made the doctors promise him that they would tell her that he died due to heart attack or some other vague natural cause.
He angad khanna, one of the richest man didn’t have enough money to fight his cancer. It was richer than him and so much uglier than him. Throughout his life he had done hard core things to reach the top. Though he had generated employment, he had invariably hurt people on the way. But he had made his parents proud, and that is what had mattered to him.
Then kripa had walked into his life. She was like a soft breeze of spring - fresh, vibrant and full of energy. She had lighted his office and his life, and together they had reached the skies. They both had fallen in love quickly and easily. She was beautiful and charming. Her heart shaped face – so lovely and radiant that he was immediately captured. He knew that she was attracted to him too. Women were always after him but kripa was different. She liked him but he had to still lure her to be with him as more than co-workers.
Their first date had been the first date of her life. He had been so shocked when she had told him this on their wedding night. She was fierce and insanely independent. She had never depended on any guy except for him and he was proud of himself for that. Until he had broken her trust.
His plan had worked so surprisingly well that he almost laughed. He was in bed with a woman he paid to pretend to be with him and when kripa had walked on on him, he had expected her to shout. Instead she had left so quietly that for a second he wasn’t even sure that she had seen him with another woman. Then he had panicked and ran behind her to accomplish his mission. He had found her, pulled her back in the car and had started ranting about her work – when he had driven her into it, her lifestyle – when all his success came to him because of her, he had called her an average – when she was better than the best, he had held her responsible for him being unfaithful – when she had been nothing but faithful to him. Worst of all he had brought up her inability to conceive. He really regretted doing that but overall he was pretty satisfied with his work.
He still remembered her coming back home with the most blank look on her face. He had never imagined that she would burst a bomb like that on him. He had been too shocked to anything but her hug. But she hadn’t hugged him back. She had gone cold and unresponsive. He had had no idea how to approach her and hence he had pushed her into work more than a normal person could handle.
She had gotten involved in work and he had been so drunk somehow that he had made the worst mistake a man could make. She had been so angry then. She had shouted, thrown things at him, had ruined the furniture and all the other stuff she could have find.
He had apologized and things had started to go back to normal. Only now kripa and he barely talked because their schedules were always clashing. She had completely closed him off from her world. She had seemed different, somewhat vulnerable yet wearing the mask of a strong and independent woman.
This time she had cried. His strong independent, beautiful, charming wife had cried. He wasn’t even sure she knew she was crying. He had never seen her cry before. Not when she had told him that she would never be able to have a baby, not even when she had lost both her parents in a brutal accident and not even when he had cheated on her the first time. But seeing her cry broke him apart. He couldn’t believe he had driven her enough to cry. He climbed the stairs of his house as he remembered packing a few things and leaving her the night before. He had left in a hurry and every abruptly because he had said way too much, much more than he had the right too. He had called her a cold heartless money minded bitch. She was the warmest person and so very caring until he had made so many mistakes. Yet she cared about him and took care of all his need and wants. Money minded? No! Career oriented? For sure! How could a money-minded uncaring woman leave the comfort of her home for days for the people hurt in accidents, children on road and oldies in hospitals. She donated a large sum to a lot of foundations every year. And bitch? Hell he was the dog. He had told her that she had used him like a ladder to success when the truth was that all his real success had come when she had joined him.
Now as he stood before her and she invited him in, he realized that it was the first time he was hearing her honey like voice after she had caught him red handed him the act of the dreaded red.
He asked her in a hoarse voice, thick with emotions of sadness “how are you kripa?” “I’m good! You say?” kripa replied spontaneously and gravely. Kripa thought she saw him smile at her response. Hell what was he expecting her to say that she was horrible and she felt terrible and all she wanted to do right now was to go to sleep and hope none of this was true, that she wished it was a horrible pathetic nightmare. She vowed right then and there to not show him any more emotions at all.
Angad looked so strong and dominating yet he looked sad. He sucked up all the oxygen in the air! Suddenly she was being pulled by him and his lips descended on hers. She wanted to pull away and run. But he coaxed her into it. For angad, the kiss was all he was going to have for the rest of his life but he sincerely hoped for kripa to move on. He prayed she would and was scared that if she figures out the truth, she won’t be able to.
Irresistible tears flowed down kripa’s eyes. He felt angad’s arms move from her waist to her arms. He pulled her away and cupped her face urging her not to cry. When angad hugged her, she clung to him like a child, seeking his support for probably the last time in her life.
Angad was pulling away again but this time way too soon, she didn’t want to let go but he was stronger. She could barely see clearly, her head swam and angad was handing her some papers.
Cold fear over took her and she feared she had screamed but it in actuality only a feeble sound had passed her lips – so feeble that even angad could have not heard it. Only he had! With a firm kiss on her forehead, he turned and left the very essence of his life lifeless. For he knew she would revive and he would look upon her from a distance. Every autumn he would return and elope her in circles of colored leaves of happiness and joy. This was the only autumn of sadness…the last one or so he hoped.
- Deeksha Juneja
As he drove back to his house, he couldn’t help but wince. He had accomplished his goal; he had driven her away forever. He had been planning to do that for nearly six months and knew his anniversary would be the perfect occasion because it would cause the maximum amount of impact. He had prepared for it, he knew almostly all the moves yet, yet it hurt so much that he wanted to shout and cry at the same time. He was angry, angry at her, at himself, at the doctors, the cancer and his whole fucking life. He had so much guilt inside him, he hated himself for doing what he did to her, the way he did it but he knew it was for the best. He had made the doctors promise him that they would tell her that he died due to heart attack or some other vague natural cause.
He angad khanna, one of the richest man didn’t have enough money to fight his cancer. It was richer than him and so much uglier than him. Throughout his life he had done hard core things to reach the top. Though he had generated employment, he had invariably hurt people on the way. But he had made his parents proud, and that is what had mattered to him.
Then kripa had walked into his life. She was like a soft breeze of spring - fresh, vibrant and full of energy. She had lighted his office and his life, and together they had reached the skies. They both had fallen in love quickly and easily. She was beautiful and charming. Her heart shaped face – so lovely and radiant that he was immediately captured. He knew that she was attracted to him too. Women were always after him but kripa was different. She liked him but he had to still lure her to be with him as more than co-workers.
Their first date had been the first date of her life. He had been so shocked when she had told him this on their wedding night. She was fierce and insanely independent. She had never depended on any guy except for him and he was proud of himself for that. Until he had broken her trust.
His plan had worked so surprisingly well that he almost laughed. He was in bed with a woman he paid to pretend to be with him and when kripa had walked on on him, he had expected her to shout. Instead she had left so quietly that for a second he wasn’t even sure that she had seen him with another woman. Then he had panicked and ran behind her to accomplish his mission. He had found her, pulled her back in the car and had started ranting about her work – when he had driven her into it, her lifestyle – when all his success came to him because of her, he had called her an average – when she was better than the best, he had held her responsible for him being unfaithful – when she had been nothing but faithful to him. Worst of all he had brought up her inability to conceive. He really regretted doing that but overall he was pretty satisfied with his work.
He still remembered her coming back home with the most blank look on her face. He had never imagined that she would burst a bomb like that on him. He had been too shocked to anything but her hug. But she hadn’t hugged him back. She had gone cold and unresponsive. He had had no idea how to approach her and hence he had pushed her into work more than a normal person could handle.
She had gotten involved in work and he had been so drunk somehow that he had made the worst mistake a man could make. She had been so angry then. She had shouted, thrown things at him, had ruined the furniture and all the other stuff she could have find.
He had apologized and things had started to go back to normal. Only now kripa and he barely talked because their schedules were always clashing. She had completely closed him off from her world. She had seemed different, somewhat vulnerable yet wearing the mask of a strong and independent woman.
This time she had cried. His strong independent, beautiful, charming wife had cried. He wasn’t even sure she knew she was crying. He had never seen her cry before. Not when she had told him that she would never be able to have a baby, not even when she had lost both her parents in a brutal accident and not even when he had cheated on her the first time. But seeing her cry broke him apart. He couldn’t believe he had driven her enough to cry. He climbed the stairs of his house as he remembered packing a few things and leaving her the night before. He had left in a hurry and every abruptly because he had said way too much, much more than he had the right too. He had called her a cold heartless money minded bitch. She was the warmest person and so very caring until he had made so many mistakes. Yet she cared about him and took care of all his need and wants. Money minded? No! Career oriented? For sure! How could a money-minded uncaring woman leave the comfort of her home for days for the people hurt in accidents, children on road and oldies in hospitals. She donated a large sum to a lot of foundations every year. And bitch? Hell he was the dog. He had told her that she had used him like a ladder to success when the truth was that all his real success had come when she had joined him.
Now as he stood before her and she invited him in, he realized that it was the first time he was hearing her honey like voice after she had caught him red handed him the act of the dreaded red.
He asked her in a hoarse voice, thick with emotions of sadness “how are you kripa?” “I’m good! You say?” kripa replied spontaneously and gravely. Kripa thought she saw him smile at her response. Hell what was he expecting her to say that she was horrible and she felt terrible and all she wanted to do right now was to go to sleep and hope none of this was true, that she wished it was a horrible pathetic nightmare. She vowed right then and there to not show him any more emotions at all.
Angad looked so strong and dominating yet he looked sad. He sucked up all the oxygen in the air! Suddenly she was being pulled by him and his lips descended on hers. She wanted to pull away and run. But he coaxed her into it. For angad, the kiss was all he was going to have for the rest of his life but he sincerely hoped for kripa to move on. He prayed she would and was scared that if she figures out the truth, she won’t be able to.
Irresistible tears flowed down kripa’s eyes. He felt angad’s arms move from her waist to her arms. He pulled her away and cupped her face urging her not to cry. When angad hugged her, she clung to him like a child, seeking his support for probably the last time in her life.
Angad was pulling away again but this time way too soon, she didn’t want to let go but he was stronger. She could barely see clearly, her head swam and angad was handing her some papers.
Cold fear over took her and she feared she had screamed but it in actuality only a feeble sound had passed her lips – so feeble that even angad could have not heard it. Only he had! With a firm kiss on her forehead, he turned and left the very essence of his life lifeless. For he knew she would revive and he would look upon her from a distance. Every autumn he would return and elope her in circles of colored leaves of happiness and joy. This was the only autumn of sadness…the last one or so he hoped.
- Deeksha Juneja
The invasion of breathing space As he left with banging the front door, she felt cold logic desert her. She slipped down by the window and saw him drive away. Somehow the woman who never bothered to think about the past, never cared to reflect on the past, never gave a damn about the so called fond memories of past found her herself reliving the moment in which she was in that fancy car with that glorious man, her hair flying around her face because she had forbade him to close the hood of the car. She had been so young then, overwhelmed by him and his charming ways. At that time she couldn’t look past his smile, his eyes and the opportunities he would provide. She could feel the wind on her like she was in the car at that moment and she lifted her hand to brush back her hair when she realized that she still had tear ducts. As she stared outside the window looking at her garden, she realized her life was very similar to that of a tree. She was in the autumn of her life. The happy colorful leaves of happiness had fallen down in her pursuit to produce more-to succeed. Now they all lay near her but she was too proud to bend down and pick them up. She just stood tall and lonely and exposed. She couldn’t believe he had said the things he had, couldn’t believe she had felt the things he had said and now all those emotions were flowing through her eyes. She “kripa khanna” the woman who could talk her way out of any situation was bereft of words when he, her 9 years husband and 1 year boyfriend had labeled her as a cold-heartless-money-minded-bitch. When angad had come into her life, she had been a struggling journalist and he was the prince of news channels. He owned three news channels and his business had boomed after kripa had joined. She had worked closely with him and he had called her his lady luck. Now he was the king, no other company could stand in front of his and she had a major share in getting him all the success that he had achieved. They both had fallen in love quickly, married even more quickly and then had devoted all their time to work. She had been covering a major accident in Mumbai when she had been hit and she knew she would never be able to conceive. Even then she hadn’t cried. She had just thought that it was because God had wanted her to concentrate on work only. Angad also hadn’t seem to care about it much then but as he had hurled accusations at her a few hours ago, she knew he had cared a lot more than he had let her believe. She had grown cold after this news and they had grown distant but she had thought it was because of the work load. He said she had used him, pretended to love him, that he was her elevator for success. He had compared her to all the hundred wannabe journalists who he didn’t even look at once. He said she had lured him into giving her promotions. That had really hurt. Everyone knew that all her promotions had been well deserved and earned. To heck with everyone. She couldn’t believe that the guy who encouraged her on every step of her life had dented her confidence so much that she had to take the support of others. Angad Khanna was the, is the most handsome man ever and she had fantasized him ever since she had decided to go for journalism. She had felt hot and wanted whenever he had looked at her and the first time he had kissed her, she had felt like the most beautiful woman ever. He hadn’t bothered to ask her if he could kiss her, he had just gone ahead with it because he wanted to and she loved him for his macho surety. Soon after he had proposed her and without a thought she had agreed. At that time it had seemed like a terrific idea. She was attracted to him and he was her boss. She had definitely thought about the boast it would provide her career but she had never used him. She never had to. He had been there helping her but she had helped him equally. They had found time for each other in the beginning, stealing moments here and there, utilizing all the holidays but with time she had become so focused in her work that she had no time left for love. She was working on some of the biggest stories which would win her the journalist of the year and the young achievers award. And when she had thought to slow down to give family time; he had driven her even further and deeper into work. He had made sure she worked 18hrs a day. She had thought he had wanted her to succeed but he had found someone else to do with while she worked. She had been angry and had yelled and had threatened him that she would leave him but she hadn’t cried. He had apologized and things had seemed to go back to normal or may be not so much because she had emotionally started withdrawing even more. Now he had cheated again and this time he had blamed it on her. He told her that she never gave him time. That all she cared about was her success. The hilarious part was that she had walked on on him, she hadn’t even said a word. She hadn’t yelled like last time, she hadn’t felt anything to yell or shout about. She had just felt numb. She had just walked out of the house. He had come to find her and had dragged her to the car. Not noticing once that neither was she speaking nor crying nor pulling away. He had blabbered on and on and on about how it was her fault and how he wanted out of the marriage and how she had ruined his life. After that he had simply packed his bags and left the cold-career-oriented-bitch forever. She hadn’t even possessed the energy enough to tell him to stay when she ached to do just that. She had come home early because it had been their anniversary. She always thought her anniversary as a celebration of autumn, a celebration of a new upcoming future. But now all she could think of how dead everything was. People were stepping on the vibrant leaves and crushing them under their foot just like Angad had stepped upon her happiness and crushed it. Yet she loved him. She was crying right now uncontrollably not because all she had left in the world had left her but because she hated herself for not being prepared for it before hand. She had known a long time in her heart that one day he would walk all over her that he would cheat again and yet she fooled herself. She kept over looking all the hits and laughed off all the signs. She had been a fool, naïve and utterly stupid. How she wished right now for an accident, a war or a political faux, anything to take her mind and heart off the man who had broken it. Someone had said it right that love was indeed the most painful and there is nothing more difficult to mend than a broken heart. She had no idea about how to pick up the pieces and live again. Soon tiredness and sleep took over her but her tears continued to flow. Next day she woke up to her house bell ringing. She looked at the time and realized that it was all mostly noon. Her whole body was paining due to sleeping in such an awkward position. She opened the door to her husband and fresh tears flowed from her eyes. “um come in” she said. It sounded odd to even her ears; it was like someone else was speaking. And he was looking at her so oddly like she was from a different planet. “how are you kripa?” asked Angad. “I’m good! You say?” answered kripa spontaneously. Angad smiled, kripa’s typical response in every situation. Some people never changed. Could that be said about him too? It was the second time he was cheating on her and somehow this time he wasn’t guilt of doing so. The only thing he was guilty about were the things he had said to her last night. They were ghastly and he had no right to say them. All he felt at this moment was relief that everything was out in the open or everything that he wanted her to know and feel. But kripa looked so young and so vulnerable, like she had when she had first walked into his office or the first time he had kissed her or the first time they had made love. He pulled her against him and kissed her softly and thoroughly. She tried to resist first but soon gave in. Fresh tears flowed through her eyes as he kissed her. He pulled away when he tasted her salty tears. “oh Kripa, oh baby don’t cry please don’t cry.” This was probably the first time he was seeing her cry. She was the strongest woman he knew and he wouldn’t bear the fact that she was crying because of him. He hugged her and she clung to him like a child while he stroked her hair. He knew the things he had said would break her heart completely and thoroughly and he had accomplished his mission. This relationship had reached its threshold. Only the last string was left to be pulled and the relationship would be dead forever. So he pulled her away, planted a swift kiss on her forehead and handed her the last string-the divorce papers. Then he turned and left to never look back. He didn’t have time left enough to look back. He couldn’t look back because he knew she would break down if he told her why he was turning away. This autumn was not the autumn of celebration. This autumn was the autumn of death, death of sweetness, death of suffering, death of love, death… - Deeksha Juneja |
The Diary of a Pretty Woman Date 9th September 2001 New York The day would be damp! No it would be sunny! Nah it would be warm. I couldn’t make up my mind about how I wanted my day to be. I opened my left eye just a tiny bit to check the irritating minute hand of the clock which never stopped ticking unless your removed the cell. Still 15 minutes for the day to begin! Happily I closed my eyes again and turned to the other side. My bed felt unusually hard, like bro’s bed to support his back. Was that because of my dream about Daniel Radcliff or was there a problem with my mattress, I couldn’t tell. All I wanted was sleep because my head felt heavy and I no more cared about what kind of day it would be. But how can the clock let you rest when it never rests itself? Sometimes I wish it would - especially when I am happy, especially when he is near, especially when everything goes exactly the way I want it to. With those thoughts I got out of my bed and did the first thing I do every morning – look at my awesome self in the mirror. “AHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAA who the hell. WTF! This can’t happen to me! This mirror is certainly flawed! Who is this freak and why is he in my night dress and enacting me from behind the mirror?” I couldn’t think of anything else to do so I began to cry. What should I do? Whom should I talk to? I don’t even have men clothes. I can’t let my parents know. I can’t go to school. I can’t tell my friends and I have a date with the cutest guy in the whole wide world tomorrow. Oh lord what should I do! This can’t happen to me! This shouldn’t happen to me. Why me? And and and how am I supposed to use the washroom? This is disastrous. I want to talk to my brother right now. And suddenly I panicked; someone had knocked on my door. As ladylike as I could I asked who it was and it was HIM! I whispered him to come in. Oh my GOD! What the freak! That was me! What I had never noticed was my manly look really resembled my brother. That means that our bodies have switched. “Eshan! Comb my hair right now, they are such a mess.” I squealed in a baritone? It was more like a bark. “Stop shouting Deeksha!” Eshan in my pretty body squealed. “Okay listen, I have a test in biology today, first period and I want an A so you better do well.” “Eshan! You idiot! You look here, I don’t have biology in my program and we have better things to worry about than a stupid test that nobody cares about” I barked. “I do care about it” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Oh please who cares about you” I said matter of factly. Just then all hell broke loose, mom entered my room which now as I had figured was Eshan’s room and grasped “I always knew that god had given me two daughters.” I giggled as Eshan murmured his usual oh please. She turned to me “Eshan why are you wearing Deeksha’s pink night dress?” “Glossy pink with soft fur” I corrected her, showing her the dress from all poses. And I am sure I have never seen her so disgusted in my whole life. That’s when Eshan came to my rescue “mom we are playing opposite day so Deeksha acts like me and I as her.” “You mean you act like Eshan and he as you” mom corrected. “YES! Absolutely! Cool right? Mom you rock and now we both have to discuss the day so please leave us alone.” And with that I pushed her out of the room. PS: opposite day is a game Eshan and I played as kids. We acted like each other the entire day to irritate our parents. I ran back and kissed my own soft cheek. The new moisturizer was good and if was definitely better than kissing Eshan’s stubble face. “Eshan! You rock dude. You are actually smart! Guess the effect was due to getting in my body” I laughed. “So let’s start the opposite day” I grinned. “What could be more opposite than this” he said with a sign. “Oh gosh! You are so dumb! So now…” he cut me in the middle of the sentence and said “Guess the effect comes with the body”. I gave him a shut up stare and continued “see now that our bodies have switched and now that we have told mom that we are playing the opposite day, we can just be our self at home at least.” “Deeksha you are actually a genius and I love you” Eshan said as he kissed me “and you are right, this stubble really hurts, I think I bruised my lips.” I laughed “see I told you! Okay so we are not going to switch bathrooms but we will definitely exchange clothes.” At the dining table “Eshan your toast with extra butter and Deeksha your fruits. All the best with your opposite day” mom wicked as she served us. Mom had the breakfast placed just right. As they say opposite’s opposite is right. But I couldn’t let Eshan eat that thing. What if I gained weight due to that? “NO!” I shouted and everyone one looked at me startled. “Deeksha shouts, not you Eshan, your opposite day is really silly” said dad. “Can’t agree more” Eshan said giving me a dirty look. Hey I look cute even with that look. “Okay this is really opposite for Deeksha to make such a remark, by the way why did you shout Eshan?” asked Mom. “Actually mom, yesterday night, I decided to go healthy like Deeksha so even I will have fruits, so please serve Deeksha with fruits.” “Wait no! When?... I didn’t….this is…” Eshan looked shocked. “Oh come on Deeksha, don’t you remember that last night you only told me that I was gaining weight” I smiled. The look on my face was something that I would remember for the rest of my life. On the way to school “Okay so Eshan, today we are going to the world trade center to study the architecture and I am heading the group. This file has a few notes and I know you will manage the rest.” I knew he could manage because that was something he did on daily basis for his science projects and visits to labs. But the problem was that I didn’t give biology tests everyday and I was really dreading his next few words. His stupid silly grin made my face look awful. As it is it was really awkward to talk to myself in real life even though I do it in mirror every day. “So Deeksha, ready for the biology test on DNA” teased Eshan. “Eshan you know I am flunking so be prepared for it. I am sorry.” He stopped walking, turned me towards him and held my face in my hands “its okay! We can’t help it so stop worrying about it” hearing his words eased my guilt a little bit. “Oh god Deeksha your hands are so awfully small that I can’t even hold my own face in them” he complained to lighten the mood. He was about to leave for my class when I called him back “oh wait, when Angad comes and talks to you, be nice to him.” “Ya obviously, he is my best friend.” Eshan said mindlessly. “Angad Khanna? Your BFF?” I was so shocked. How could Angad Khanna be friends with my brother? “Ya! Why?” Eshan asked, so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice my shocked reactions. “Well just be nice to him from my side.” I said and hoped he would ignore this to and just do as I say. But oh well how could I be lucky today “Oh god! You are not dating him! He is so bloody dead.” “Oh come on, stop being over protective and please for heaven sake, stop over reacting.” And I left before he could say anything else. In Eshan’s Class Someone slapped my back real hard and I almost fell. I turned to look at the most stunning guy with the most charming smile, deep sea blue eyes, and easy going-loose golden brown locks – Angad Khanna. The most dreamy man. He snapped his fingers on my face “you turning gay or what?” he asked laughing. “Oh no! I was just thinking about…about…about biology. How are you?” I asked extending my hand. He pulled me towards him for a hug and I fell flat against his chest. Eshan was going to kill me; I was not only spoiling his relation with Angad but also his reputation. It was really embarrassing. “Okay, you are definitely not okay today Eshan. Take it easy on biology.” Angad left, sensing something wrong. Mr. Shane, the biology teacher saved and killed me at the same time by entering the class. I quickly glanced at the pages for the first and the last time before attempting the worst paper of my life. Just as the bell for the class was about to ring there was a lot of commotion in the corridor. We all went to see what the hue and cry was about. Everyone was moving out of their class and going towards the den where all the eyes were on the TV. All I could see were some building being hit by a plane. And then I realized that they were the twin towers. I should have been there not him. The place had my end enstored in it and it engulfed my brother instead. My teddy bear, my vision, my protector, my rescuer, my life, my best friend, my brain, my face my identity, everything was gone. Mom and dad will think they lost a daughter but only I will know that I lost a brother. My whole world shattered and I couldn’t even pick up the remaining pieces. I was so confused and felt broken. There were so many things going on in my mind. I could see Eshan. I could see mom and dad. We were laughing, shouting, singing. And there was my room then my house. But slowly or was it rather quickly? Everything seemed to be going away. No amount of calling, shouting or crying worked. I felt someone was hitting my head with a hammer. Whoever this person was, he would be in serious trouble. With great difficultly I opened my eyes to see who it was. But I found myself in the medical room and figured that I had fainted. So no one was hitting my head, I was having a headache. It was almostly four pm. Oh gosh! Time for Eshan’s chemistry class. I tried to get up to quickly and fell back with a bang only to remember that there was no Eshan, yet here we was. Fresh, hot tears rolled down my cheeks. All of a sudden I felt a small soft hand on my shoulder. I couldn’t believe it! I was staring at myself. That means Eshan was alive. I pinched him to check if he was real. When he shouted, I pulled him into a hug. I hugged him real tight and I cried. I cried as hard as I could. He was there holding me, soothing me, telling me and promising me that he was there and will always be. I was so relieved to see not only my brother but myself too. After I calmed down a little, I asked him what he was going here and how come he was…don’t say the bad words. “You know what; I saved your life today because I had no experience with this.” He said pointing towards himself. I stared blankly at him. What was he talking about? The role switch? The girly dress up? Architecture study trip? “Eshan I don’t get it…what are ...what do u mean?” I asked. He blushed and looked down and looked at me again and finally said “the girls’ monthly allowance.” “What?” I said blankly and then it struck me “OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I can’t believe it! Even THAT WORKS LIKE THIS?” I couldn’t control my laugh. “This is one painful laugh Deeksha” he said pulling my ear. That night we slept on the same bed after years. After today we both know that we couldn’t live without each other and won’t mind living in each other’s body for the rest of our life. We slept wishing and praying for a very uneventful next day. - DEEKSHA JUNEJA |